“If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello”
I am writing this for the ladies. I, myself, have been the guiltiest of all when it comes to not being able to let go and say goodbye, which is why I cannot begin to stress enough how important it is during the break up process. Although I am but the ripe age of 23, I have made many mistakes throughout the course of my life, and I see it as both my duty and my mission to help others avoid venturing down the same troubled paths that I have.
When my ex and I broke up, the next couple of months that ensued were torturous to say the very least. My ex and I played the blame game for months, resulting in my world feeling like a living hell. Why was it so hard? I was the one who left him in Vegas… the one who packed up my bags and ran as fast as I could to escape that mess. But for some reason (and I still have yet to truly discover it) I still loved him and cared about him beyond reason. The emotions that I felt toward him varied from day to day; intense hatred, remorse, sorrow, and even love coursed through my veins. Nightly phone calls from him would give me hope that maybe one day we would be able to salvage some sort of a relationship, yet every ounce of that hope was crushed the following mornings when he would admit to having no recollection of our conversation because his night was one blacked out blur.
Intensifying my confusion even more so, if possible, were the phone calls I received from friends and acquaintances in Vegas telling me I made the right decision. From the second that my plane landed in Seattle, I began receiving text messages and phone calls from friends and family praising me for finally building up the courage to put my foot down. Those phone calls were welcomed at first; it was nice to hear that people had always seen “my side”… that I was not as crazy as I had felt. Yet then the phone calls changed into “tattling” on my ex; the stories I heard of his Vegas escapades made me feel as though my stomach was going to drop out of my butt, my heart was in my throat, and my lungs were constricted (strange description, but that is PRECISELY how I felt). Stories of what he was doing at parties and the countless number of girls that he was sleeping with literally made me sick to my stomach. Mind you, during all of this, my ex and I were STILL talking. Had I not been so stubborn and ignored every single person in my life that was literally trying to force their advice down my throat to stay the hell away from him, I would have avoided months of heart ache and confusion.
I, unfortunately, am one of many women who blatantly ignore advice from friends and family to cut contact with their exes. I cannot stress enough how much of a difference it will make in your life. There were times when I would go days or even weeks without talking to my ex, and I would feel on top of the world. It was as though I was regaining my strength and my sense of self. Yet, the second I would hear his voice or receive a text from his number, my world would come crashing back down.
Whether you choose to answer the call or text because you still love him, want to help him, or want to have your words with him, I strongly encourage you to resist the urge. Every time you talk to him, you are feeding his ego with your own strength. In other words, he is sucking the life and the strength out of you, leaving you empty and substantially more vulnerable.
Not every guy is vindictive or manipulative, but trust me, you know if you are dating someone who is. These are the type of people you need to cleanse your life of; you will see in time how much stronger you have become and how much brighter your future is. Sure, it hurts temporarily when you have to cut all contact with someone you once loved. But I promise you, the hurt is only temporary. Every day that goes by without contacting your ex you become stronger, wiser, and more independent.
If you are going through a rough break up, cut all contact with your ex and give yourself the proper time to heal. Work on yourself and focus on what makes YOU happy. Realize that you do not need a man or a relationship; you are 100% fine on your own. You need to be happy with yourself and learn to love yourself before you can ever love someone else.
I could write for DAYS about this subject, but I am heading off to class now! I just had to write down these thoughts because lately several people very close to me have been going through breaks ups—and guess what… they have been extremely rough because they continue to their ex!